Thursday, February 25, 2016

An Open Letter to the Kids of Today

An Open Letter to the Kids of Today

I’ve owned a house in Royal Oak, Michigan for over 15 years and I cannot tell you how many times a kid has come to my door to inquire about being hired to shovel snow, rake leaves or cut my grass.
This is because the number of times this has happened is zero.

Yes, you kids are spoiled and living in a world of entitlement. But hold on--- I think I understand why you are why you are. It's because you say "today the world is different" and you're right. It is a different world today from when I grew up. I know this because:

Today you get a medal for just showing up and a trophy for finishing the race.
Today you get a graduation ceremony and flowers for finishing pre-school.
Today you get dropped off and picked up from school because a mile is too far to walk.
Today you have 496 channels of cable TV and still complain there is nothing on.
Today you can’t even spell because U R 2 lzy to learn thx 2 Ur parent.
Today you bitch because some new technology that was only invented five minutes ago does not work perfectly.
Today you get a car and a phone because your parents are too gutless to tell you that you really need to work for things and the reason they do this is because they are competing for your love because they are probably divorced.
Today you can’t hear “Hey batter, batter” on the Little League field because it is considered taunting and bullying.
Today you could buy a second hand snow blower or lawnmower for a fraction of what you spend on video games and work your way into prosperity---oh wait, that is no longer the goal of our country because prosperity is a bad word.

So today you get to hear people like me bitch about you because you’ve either been allowed to grow up in a culture of entitlement or this is now the norm. Either way, I am sick of it and the fact that you will one day be running this country scares the shit out of me.

Maybe I am being too harsh. I realize you are at a great disadvantage because you’ve come to idolize entertainers like Kanye West and the other jackoffs and you know more about the Kardashians than you do the three branches of Government, how to balance a checkbook or apply 4 A Jb.

Kids growing up in America today are in for a shock when they get older and have to enter the real world. This is probably why colleges have created “safe zones” so when a student gets their feelings hurt because someone disagrees with their political belief or ideology, they have a place they can run to and be coddled. And why not? This is what America has become.

But I’m sorry. My bad. I know some of you work hard to get into college and I admire that as long as you are not acquiring degree like these being offered at major colleges and universities:

Hip-hop Appreciation (need I say more?)
Queer Musicology (ditto)
Madonna Studies (which is actually injected into the gender course at Harvard)
Parapsychology, perfect for starting a career with Ghostbusters. Oh wait, Ghostbusters are fictional – Well, that’s four years wasted.

But maybe I should step back about the college thing. After all, certain presidential candidates are telling you your student loans will be forgiven and that college will be free if you vote for them.

So what I am saying is, this country is doomed and we have you and your parents to thank for it all because you decided to take a snow day and keep your lazy butts in bed texting your friends and all I can do is SMH.

By the way, that thing in the picture is called a shovel and the thing next to it is called a sidewalk.

Maybe one day your parents or your government will give you one.

Now get off of my lawn.

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